I think everyone has some sort of problem that they deal with in their life. That’s life. My problem is that I was diagnosed with major depression. It’s a type of depression, but without the crazy highs and lows. It’s not something I usually let people know about me, just because some people might judge me before they get to know me. I found out when I was seventeen that I had this chemical disorder. People usually find out that they have depression after going through a traumatic experience, it seems to trigger it.

I remember one day when I was seventeen waking up and not knowing who I was. I had been dating my first love for about two years. He had taken over my life and I didn’t even realize it. I stopped going to school, moved in with him, stopped speaking to everyone I knew, and was being mentally and physically abused. I don’t even knew how it had happened, but it all happened so fast. I don’t have much memories from that time , because my therapist told me that I had pushed it out of my head and those memories might never come back. That day I woke up not knowing who I was, was about a month after my boyfriend had gone to jail for a sentence of five to ten years. I had been visiting him everyday until that point when I woke up and decided to get some help.

I hate that I have to be on antidepressants for the rest of my life. I tried to stop when I was pregnant with my daughter, I thought I was better seeing that I had been on it for ten years. It was awful, my anxiety, the thoughts that were going through my head, I couldn’t stop crying. My fiance finally begged me to go back on the medication. I try and stay positive and happy at all times. So, my children will do the same. No one wants to be around the downer, so I always try to keep a smile on my face. As my fiance had said to me ” Wouldn’t you rather take a pill and stay happy, than not and suffer everyday?” Which is true in my case. I’m lucky to have such a great family and support team.